just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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