she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize