I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
