Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
