Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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