So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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