You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
