I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
