but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
