the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
home. puking in laundry basket.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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