The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
