So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
