do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
