office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize