sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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