She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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