people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
how drunk are you?
Several
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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