last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize