Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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