ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
