The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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