i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
