i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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