I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
