i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
