she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
