talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
