More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
