Small penises have feelings too.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
