ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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