She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
