I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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