haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
