She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
