return my video game
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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