I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
