He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I want her autograph on my taint
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I touched a dick in church today
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
