Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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