To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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