Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize