Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
