I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
