Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
