you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
