Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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