There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
