she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
