Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
