I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
