the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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