There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
