...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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