so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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