brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
