I think my fart just growled at me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize