so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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