Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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