just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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