that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
