so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
